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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28096704">Soul of Stardust</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightBooks609/pseuds/StarlightBooks609'>StarlightBooks609</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson &amp; Dave Wolverton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baby Obi-Wan Kenobi, Family Feels, Gen, Jedi Lineages (Star Wars), Redemption</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:53:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28096704</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightBooks609/pseuds/StarlightBooks609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Xanatos could only run for so long, soon the darkness would catch up to him. His only hope lay in the youngling within his arms and the Jedi Order he had forsaken. Redemption may lay around the corner, but so does destruction.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>155</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>THIS IS RADICALLY AU! And possibly, very likely OOC, but hey, tis fanfiction. <br/>So just a warning, most of my Extended Universe knowledge comes from other fics or Wookiepedia. Inevitably there will be legend canonical errors and since this oneshot is an alternative universe, I have made deliberate choices to exclude or include certain information. I also apologize if my toddler speak seems too basic or uncoordinated, frankly its be a while since I last played with very young children. <br/>Also, I use Yan as the first name for Count Dooku because it’s from one of my favorite fics, Reprise by Elfpen on ffnet, and I like how it fits Dooku’s character. So, go check out that story since it’s fabulous! Additionally, I created Xanatos’ last name since it technically doesn’t exist in Legends verse, so yay, I love names and their meanings! <br/>Other than that, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Xanatos was out of his mind.</p>
<p>There was no other option since he was considering this thrice-bedamned kriffing son-of-a-sithspawn idea. Idly, the young Telosian human padawan wondered how badly his master would chew him out over this.</p>
<p>A slight shuffling drew his attention downwards and he glimpsed the tiny figure press his cold button nose more firmly into Xanatos’ beige tunics.</p>
<p>The youngling was fast asleep.</p>
<p>Small chubby fingers grasped tightly onto the woven fabric. Absentmindedly, Xanatos curled his pale fingers into the soft tufts of reddish gold hair, stroking the small head for comfort. <em>Force! What had happened to him? </em>Just a few weeks, even days, ago and Xanatos would have sooner tossed the youngling over a balcony rather than willing snuggle. Yet here he was, the oh so mighty padawan learner of Master Qui-Gon Jinn, holding a barely four-year old child in his arms.</p>
<p>Xanatos sighed heavily as he tramped through the dark night air. <em>Oh, how the mighty had fallen. As they say, pride before the fall. </em>And Xanatos’ ego was anything but small. Yet, in the very depths of his soul, Xanatos could not bring himself to forsake his actions. For that would forsake the little human boy in his arms. Pale arms tightened their hold around the child, he would protect this little light as long as possible with all his might, kriff the consequences.  </p>
<p>A loud crash of tumbling droid scraps in the pouring rain broke the padawan from his thoughts, midnight blue eyes flashing beneath a curtain of black hair, alert for any indication in the Force. The tall and lithe male slunk down the dingy alley corridor, pale skin barely visible underneath the dark brown robes of a Jedi.</p>
<p>He needed to move, leave the planet, and hide. Though how long he could hide from the all-consuming darkness, he did not know.</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>Events were spiraling out of his control and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Helplessness was not a familiar feeling, but it pervaded his every thought and action, threatening to overwhelm him.</p>
<p>Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn rested his head in his calloused hands, chestnut hair falling in a cascade to hide his weary face.</p>
<p>Three days.</p>
<p>Three days since his padawan had vanished in the night. No note or indication of where he had gone. Qui-Gon groaned softly in defeat. And worse still, a youngling, no more than four standard years, gone too. He feared that the two instances were connected.</p>
<p><em>No! </em>Qui-Gon protested vehemently, <em>do not focus on your anxieties Jinn, only on the present moment. There must be something I can do to track down my wayward apprentice. </em>Taking a deep breath in through his nose and exhaling in a whoosh of air, Qui-Gon accepted his feelings of helplessness and then laid them down to the Force.</p>
<p>Breathe in and breathe out. In and out. In…and out…In….and…out…</p>
<p>Slowly, the Jedi master stretched his senses along the bond in his mind. It was thin and worn, almost tattered in places. Qui-Gon grimaced at the reminder that Xanatos felt he was nearing his Knighthood Trials and thus pulling away from his master. He did not agree. While sixteen standard years might be enough for some star systems, Qui-Gon thought his padawan needed a few more years to mature fully. Faintly, Qui-Gon acknowledged that he was not ready to give up his padawan to the Trials just yet. He would miss the boy.</p>
<p>Now, he gently felt along the bond, hoping for even a glimpse of his dear padawan. For a long while there was nothing, only silence, but by and by, faint emotions crossed the strained link. Fear and anxiety washed over Qui-Gon like ripples in a pond, but the bright hard swell of protective determination crashed upon him before fading like the last echo of a bell.</p>
<p>A knock on the door startled the leonine master out of his meditation.</p>
<p>“Yes? Come in,” he called out, his baritone voice raspy from the lack of sleep. The dark-skinned Korun Jedi Knight Mace Windu strode through the door frame, glancing about the havoc strewn quarters.</p>
<p>“Master Jinn, the co-” Knight Windu paused as he caught sight of the man’s grim face and unsettling shimmering blue eyes. Though the master was eight years his senior, the newly minted knight had ample opportunity to interact with Master Jinn. They frequently took missions together as a Knight and a Master Padawan duo. As a result, Knight Windu respected and deeply admired the man in front of him and hoped one day to be counted as a friend.</p>
<p>Curiosity burning in his brown eyes, Mace Windu forewent his manners and asked the man directly, this was after all, most likely the only chance he had to learn about the hushed-up situation of Padawan Xanatos Dinzori.</p>
<p>“What have you found, Master Jinn?”</p>
<p>“I believe, Knight Windu, that my Padawan has the youngling, Kenobi, with him.”</p>
<p>Windu stifled a gasp of alarm. If this was true, then the news he brought was even more pertinent. Master Jinn sensed his alarm in the shift in the Force and focused his complete attention of the young Jedi Knight.</p>
<p>“The Council has called for you Master Jinn. They have found Padawan Dinzori’s shuttle heading towards the planet Dagobah in the Outer Rim Territories.”</p>
<p>“What did you say!?”</p>
<p>Qui-Gon leapt from his seat, a new surge of adrenaline filling his body, wiping away the heavy fatigue that plagued him. He pressed a gentle hand to Windu’s shoulder, squeezing it in gratitude. “My deepest thanks for bringing me this information. May the Force be with you.”</p>
<p>He was out the door before Windu could even respond, a swirl of earth colored robes all that marked his passage.</p>
<p>Left alone in the other Jedi’s quarters, Mace Windu reflected on the unsettling situation, unease flickering up and down his spine. <em>A runaway Padawan with a missing youngling.</em> It seemed to him that nothing good would come of it.  </p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>“So, you believe that Padawan Dinzori took the youngling? That is a high possibility Master Jinn, but we must not accuse without proof,” Master Yarael Poof scolded, his head bobbing along his thin spindly neck. “Have you found some evidence? As you well know, all the security footage from that night was lost when the unexplained thunderstorm wiped out the power generators.”</p>
<p>“I feel it, Masters. In my bond,” he brought a large hand to his chest, “and in my heart. The Force agrees with me, can’t you see?” And indeed, the Force did agree, in a swirling sparkling breeze that giggled with joy and light as it swept through the assembled Jedi.</p>
<p>Master Evan Piell frowned, “Yes, I sense that is true. However, that begs a question of motives, why does Padawan Dinzori have youngling Kenobi? He is just a child, barely able to speak. Not worthy of a ransom for any political party.” It was a reasonable assumption since the Jedi amassed many enemies during the course of their lives.</p>
<p>Qui-Gon frowned heavily, brows furrowed in anger, “My Padawan would never kidnap a child or participate in some sort of ransom, <em>Master Piell</em>. He is a strong Jedi, almost ready for knighthood.”  </p>
<p>Questioning eyebrows, or the species equivalent, swept through the Jedi Council, “Do you have any theories about these suspicious actions then, Master Jinn?”</p>
<p>“I do not know Masters.” Qui-Gon forced the words past a lump in his throat. “Before this incident, I believed I knew my Padawan as well as I knew myself, now I am afraid to realize I do not.” For once the Maverick Jedi seemed to deflate and appeared younger than his twenty-seven years.</p>
<p>“Motives matter not. Where Padawan is, we know. Now question, after him, who goes?” Grandmaster Yoda’s timely inquiry silenced the council for a brief moment as each of the ten members contemplated the issue.</p>
<p>Alas the silence did not last long at all.</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>
  <em>Darkness swirled in inky grey clouds. Skulls formed and disappeared; their mouths twisted into grotesque screams. He could almost hear the tortured sounds. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Little Jedi, why do you run? Are you scared?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The voice was cold and greedy. Shivers ran up his spine, as the padawan turned, desperately trying to see his foe.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I am not afraid of you!” Xanatos screamed his denial, but his voice sounded weak and pitiable, swallowed by the all-consuming darkness.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You are not afraid,” the nauseating voice agreed from next to Xanatos’ ear. A bony finger trailed up his cheek, “Instead you crave the darkness, little Jedi.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Frantic, he ran away from the haunting voice. Yet no matter how far he ran the oily voice chased his steps. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Afterall that is why you came to me, is it not?”</em>
</p>
<p>With a gasp, Xanatos woke up, eyes wide and unseeing. Sweat ran in hot rivulets down his body. He ran his fingers through his dark hair in agitation. “It’s only a dream, only a dream, it’s not real,” the boy mumbled to himself, looking very much like the adolescent he was. <em>If only that were true. Force, help me! </em>For the first time, the padawan felt the inexperience of his sixteen years. <em>What was he supposed to do!?</em></p>
<p>“Zana? Why you crying? Do you got booboos?” The small angelic voice, jolted Xanatos from his nightmare induced daze. While small gentle hands lifted his head and wiped the tears streaming down his face.</p>
<p>“Obi-Wan…” he breathed shakily. A featherlight kiss touched one cheek and then the other in the dark shelter.</p>
<p>“There, all better. I kiss the hurts goodbye.” So satisfied, the little child bundled his way into Xanatos’ lap and curled himself around the older male. “G’night, Zana. Force be wiv you.”</p>
<p>Xanatos sat for a long moment, an indescribable warmth flooding his chest. The Force enveloped him in a warm hug, filled with starlight, joy, and an immeasurable peace. Though nothing had changed, Xanatos felt calmer, more centered with himself. <em>Yes, I can flee for a while. While the Jedi Council will follow the tracking signal to Dagobah. </em>He gazed up at the fleeting stars glimpsed between the dense ceiling of jungle trees. <em>They will be here soon.</em></p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>Back upon Coruscant, upheaval ran amok in the Jedi’s High Council room.</p>
<p>“I am his <em>Master!</em> I must be one of the Jedi to go to him!”</p>
<p>“You are much too close to the boy; we do not know his intentions or the depths of your attachment.”</p>
<p>“You think I will not do my duty as a Jedi?” The reproof was cold with icy distain.</p>
<p>“Settle down, Master Jinn, no one is questioning your valor as a Jedi. Young though you are, you are a credit to the Force.” Master Poof stated, glaring down his long neck at the guilty council member. “All we are suggesting, is that a certain distance is needed on this mission. One you might not have.”</p>
<p>A loud thunk of a gimer stick on the tiled floor restored order to the room.</p>
<p>“Children we are not, squabble like them we cannot.” The small gnarled green figure leapt to the floor.</p>
<p>Tap. Tap. Tap.</p>
<p>Yoda walked across the tiled sun, pausing before the arched bay window, as dawn crested the city planet. The light painted the harsh grey duracrete skyscrapers dusty pinks and oranges, as each window sparkled like a dirty gemstone.</p>
<p>“Disturbance, I sense, in the Force. Go, I will, to Dagobah. See the runaway Padawan, I must.” Yoda’s ancient voice silenced the protests, “Needed, I sense, I will be.”</p>
<p>“Of course, Grandmaster,” the eleven other council members inclined their heads and ceded to the venerable old being’s wisdom. None could compare to Master Yoda’s eight hundred odd years of experience in his sense of the Force.</p>
<p>“Now, the question is, who accompany me, it will be?” A sly twinkle crept into the beady eyes, and a wrinkled brow lifted sardonically, while the long bat-like ears flapped a little. “Master Jinn, it will be. Who else, the second master is?”</p>
<p>“Well,” began Master Piell in the thoughtful silence, “Since Master Yoda will be going, along with Master Jinn, then I do not believe another council member is needed.”</p>
<p>Master Poof leaned forward on his thighs, knobby fingers templed on his knees, and head wobbling slightly on his long neck, “Then who do you suggest Master Piell? There are quite the number of Masters or Knights available for the task.”</p>
<p>“Is Master Dooku in the temple, currently?” the stern old Master Jocasta Nu asked suddenly, cultured voice unreadable. Her face sat in a look of stern reproof, framed by her steel grey hair pulled back into a severe bun. “It becomes a matter of lineage this way, an unofficial checkup one could say.” Muted agreement rang through the Force as the other council members considered this.</p>
<p>“Hmmm,” Yoda agreed, “my old apprentice, do, it will. And Jinn’s master, so it will be. Hmmm. Prepare, I must, so to you I leave the council matters. Come Grand-padawan.”</p>
<p>Chuckles followed the old troll out as he thwacked Qui-Gon’s shin to shock him out of his stupor. Disgruntled, Qui-Gon hurried after the small figure. All the while looking gigantic and slightly disproportionate as his two meters dwarfed his grandmaster’s two-thirds of a meter height.  </p>
<p><em>Why me? </em>He wondered in the depths of his soul. Was not losing one’s padawan enough for the Force? Why must he also confront he own-albeit estranged-master?</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>“Wait! Obi-Wan, don’t-”</p>
<p>Splash!</p>
<p>“-move…”</p>
<p>Tinkling laughter spread in a rippling wave around the swampy clearing, as the little four-year old splashed joyfully in the dingy water. His minder grimaced as green mud struck him in the face. Xanatos sighed, <em>how can the little gundark be happy, covered in disgusting grime?</em> He irritably rubbed at his mud soiled trousers, before settling once again in the lotus position.</p>
<p>He was sitting on the only solid ground near their temporary shelter, trying to meditate. The operative word being <em>trying</em>. He couldn’t hold his concentration for more than a few moments. While the vast jungles of Dagobah teemed with life and the Living Force swirling in almost tangible eddies, he found himself at odds with himself. The sixteen-year-old padawan shivered in the humid climate, chilled by the faint trace of darkness that reached for him.</p>
<p>The Sith was still looking for him. <em>He </em>was always looking, and he would never stop until he got what he wanted, even if that meant destruction. <em>Especially if it meant destruction.</em></p>
<p>Weary midnight blue eyes drifted towards the Sith’s target, who resembled a mudball, covered from head to toe in gunky brown-green mud. The only visibly clean part where those bright grey blue eyes, which sparkled with laughter.</p>
<p>“Zana! Come play wiv me!” The sunny cry warmed Xanato’s heart, and he smiled. It was small, tentative thing, but it reached up to soften his disheartened eyes. “We building a temple here!”</p>
<p>“I bet you think this a quite the holiday, you little dirtball,” the padawan grumbled.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, Xanatos found himself moving towards Obi-Wan. He still grimaced and gagged at the slimy feeling of mud slipping through his fingers, but managed to shape one wall of the so-called temple. It looked like a melting pile of poodoo to him, but the youngling seemed to like it. <em>Ugh, </em>he was never going to live this down when his master found out.</p>
<p>“Uhuh! A holiday! No rules, no bad monsters in the dark, and I get Zana all to myself!”</p>
<p>“Really? <em>I’m </em>part of the reason you think tramping in the mud for days with only ration bars to eat is a holiday?”</p>
<p>“Zana is the best part! Well,” the little boy paused in his temple construction, grey blue eyes fixed unnervingly on Xanato’s own, “you the best when you all yellow light. Now no more yucky darkness.”</p>
<p>“Yellow light? Yucky darkness? What are you talking about Obi-Wan?”</p>
<p>A small pudgy hand splayed itself on the Padawan’s chest, leaving tracks of mud on the beige tunic. “Here is the yellow light now. Before, only little light. Almost gone, covered by yucky darkness.” The boy leaned back contentedly, eyes half-closed, “That’s why I came with you. I chased the darkness away.” A dazzling smile lit the cherub face, “You needed me. You didn’t know it. Sometimes adults are silly and forget important things. I helped you ‘emember, that’s all.”</p>
<p>Xanatos felt himself falling into the depthless vast oceans of the boy’s eyes, mind whirling with thoughts and confusion. <em>How had he known of my temptation to the Dark Side? And he came willingly because I needed his help? What does he mean by ‘important things’?</em></p>
<p>He opened his mouth to question him further but was interrupted by a low gurgling growl.</p>
<p>“I’m hungry, Zana. Eat now?” Obi-Wan asked hopefully. Xanatos startled, the boy’s eyes were normal again, a guileless grey-blue filled with childlike innocence. He shoved the thoughts aside to meditate on later.</p>
<p>“Alright, youngling, let’s clean you up…” he trailed off as he realized he had very little clean water left, which they needed for drinking, and the sonic shower was useless with the amount of dirt Obi-Wan was caked in. He swore it was at least two inches deep. “Never mind, just rinse your hands in the refresher Obi-Wan.”</p>
<p>The boy hummed an affirmative, before dashing off to the shuttle dumped by a massive gnarltree. Ginormous tree roots formed a mass of limbs and branches crisscrossing and weaving together, as they lifted above the swampline. It was here, sheltered by the roots, that Xanatos had made their shelter. The padawan would have preferred to sleep in the shuttle’s cramped bunk, but Obi-Wan was entranced by the stars and refused to sleep in the metal container, as he claimed with all the seriousness of a child, “The stars can’t laugh wiv us if we hide in the metal can! Only droids sleep in boxes, and we are not droids Zana.” So, there they were, sleeping on the ground at home with the insidious crawlers and idiotic rodents. At least Xanatos had salvaged the cushions and blankets from the sleep couch, otherwise there would have been a revolt. He liked his sleep, thank you very much.</p>
<p>A low rumble, barely discernable from the ambient birdsong, reached Xanatos’ ears. He glanced up, pulling back his black hair with a scowl. He abhorred the short padawan cut and anxiously waited until the day he could grow out his locks in luscious glory. For now, he was stuck with terrible bangs and a rattail.</p>
<p><em>There!</em> His eyes followed a line of smoke and vapor streaming off an approaching space craft. “Obi-Wan,” he called without turning away from the sight, “Clean your hands well, we have guests for dinner tonight.”</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>The Jedi shuttle was small to begin with, but it was made smaller by the fraught tension between the occupants. Master Qui-Gon Jinn glowered in a corner of the storage bay, though if asked, he was simply meditating. Grandmaster Yoda sat on the lone bed in the single cabin enjoying the soft waves of the Force around his lineage. Master Yan Dooku sat in the pilot seat awaiting the descent from hyperspace, staring stonily out at the blue streaks of starlight.</p>
<p>The tall Jedi found himself unsettled about the whole affair, salt and pepper brows drawn together in disgruntlement. Mainly because he was bullied by his master into accepting such a simple mission to collect an errant padawan. That it was his own Grand-padawan may have influenced his decision. And the gimmer stick. Master Dooku glowered, <em>never let it be said that old age softened Yoda, he is more violent than ever. Quite unbefitting a Master Jedi.</em></p>
<p><em>Yet</em>¸ Yan reflected, brown eyes skimming the shuttle controls for irregularities, <em>the old troll may be meddlesome, but his wisdom is fairly unrivaled. There must be a reason he isn’t telling us</em>. The Jedi’s countenance soured further at his perception of the tiny master’s lack of faith in him.</p>
<p>“Upset you should not be. Hmm. No other reason, I have, but to see the younglings home.” The gravelly voice jolted Yan, and he cursed himself for letting Master Yoda sneak up on him.</p>
<p>“Master…”</p>
<p>“A disturbance in the Force, I sense. Padawan, his lineage, he needs. Go to them, we are.” Yoda hummed as he clambered into the co-pilot seat, “Almost there we are.”</p>
<p>A chime sounded, and Yan hastily brought his attention back to the control panel as the shuttle materialized out of hyperspace above a planet.</p>
<p>It was standard sized planet, covered in dense green-gray haze. All in all, it was an extremely remote backwater planet of the Outer Rim Territories. The planet’s only slight claim to notoriety lay in its immense shine in the Force. It practically blazed in the Force, a small sun in its own right, though only Force sensitives could tell.</p>
<p>Pure undulating light wrapped around the inhabitants of the Jedi shuttle, embracing them with the sense of the Living Force. Yoda hummed in satisfaction and delight, beady eyes closed and wrinkled face relaxed. Qui-Gon entered the cockpit, stooping behind the co-pilot’s chair, gazing out at the rapidly approaching orbital planet.</p>
<p>“That’s Dagobah?” He exclaimed, “Why in the galaxy would my wayward padawan head there? He despises getting dirty, calls it uncivilized.”</p>
<p>“Hmph, it seems my grand-padawan and I have much in common,” brown eyes flicked toward Qui-Gon, as Yan spoke, voice sharp and cutting, “A pity you never cared to introduce us, <em>Master Jinn.</em>”</p>
<p>Qui-Gon gritted his teeth in annoyance, before letting out the irritation with a deep breath, “Be glad Master, it seems today is quite the fortunate day. You will meet my apprentice and the lovely swamplands of Dagobah all in one sitting.”</p>
<p>Any retort from Yan was silenced as the Force fluctuated and several consoles beeped warningly.</p>
<p>“Sit down and strap in Qui-Gon, the navigational guides have shorted out. I’ll need to manually enter the atmosphere and guide us to land.” The tall jedi glanced over at his short companion, “You as well Master, this will most certainly be an <em>uncomfortable</em> endeavor.”</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>After a disturbingly bumpy glide to the planet’s swampy surface, the three Jedi hastily disembarked. Their trust in the Force allowed for peaceful serenity and knowledge in their safety, and yet did not relieve the physical discomfort of manual flight.</p>
<p>The moment they opened the hatch, ambient noise of croaking and shrieks of animals bombarded their ears. But among the din, two human voices emerged.</p>
<p>“Put that down Obi-Wan! A slug is not a table mate. Not on my foot! Ugh, listen here youngling, if you continue to manhandle this odious creature, you’ll catch any number of terrifying diseases and die before ever leaving this planet.”</p>
<p>“No! Zana, that’s bad, you be alone if I die!”</p>
<p>“That’s right, Obi-Wan. I’ll be all alone and you don’t want that do you? Well then, drop the revolting thing over in the mud and wash your hands. Again.”</p>
<p>“Yes, Zana.”</p>
<p>Qui-Gon Jinn slapped a hand to his mouth to contain his laughter. His fussy cleanliness obsessed padawan just manipulated a youngling to release his catch! How in the world did he get the youngling to listen to him?</p>
<p>Master Yoda had no such compunctions and chuckled boisterously in amusement. The old Jedi stumped around the shuttle, bringing the wayward apprentice in view.</p>
<p>He was a skinny thing, Yan Dooku reflected. He seemed frail with that pale skin framed by dark hair if not for the lithe muscles the shouted strength and dedication. The padawan spotted the approaching figures and hastily stood and bowed deeply.</p>
<p>“Masters, you’re here,” he greeted in a voice laden with relief.</p>
<p>“Master Yoda! Master Yoda! You’re here!” A small voice chirped excitedly. A little blur dashed from the stolen shuttle and hurtled to the grandmaster, stopping short of the small figure but vibrating with enthusiasm. “I missed you Master Yoda! Did you miss me?”</p>
<p>And this was the missing youngling. Somehow Yan Dooku thought he would be less brown colored. He failed to even distinguish the color of his mop of hair as all of him resembled a squat dirt pile.</p>
<p>“Of course, miss you I did, youngling Kenobi. Worried we were, when missing we thought.” A pointed glance darted at Xanatos, who had the grace to flush in shame.</p>
<p>“But I wasn’t missing! I helped Zana, just like a Jedi! We were-” The boy would have continue chattering, but he caught sight of the imposing figures of Qui-Gon Jinn and Yan Dooku, both of whom sported stern bearded expressions and two meters in height. He gasped and darted behind Xanatos.</p>
<p>Blue-grey eyes peeked out from behind dirt stained trousers, “Zana? Who are those Masters?”</p>
<p>The brunet crouched down to Obi-Wan’s level, as the Masters watched in amusement, disbelief, and reproof, respectively.</p>
<p>“This is my Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, who has taught me everything I know, and that is Master Yan Dooku, my master’s master.”</p>
<p>“And,” Master Yoda began, dark grey eyes twinkling mischievously, “master’s master’s master, I am, youngling. Everything they know, taught them I have. Hmmm…”</p>
<p>“Woah!” Obi-Wan whispered in awe, grey-blue eyes shimmering like a thousand stars.</p>
<p>Yan felt his heart melt slightly at the innocent and sincere response.  </p>
<p>“You all must be old to teach things! Were you alive when the sun was borned?” And just like that, Yan was reminded of why he never set foot in the Crèche. <em>For Force’s sake! </em>Yan fumed in silence.<em> He was only forty-nine standard years, not even a half-century!</em> Abruptly he took control of the conversation.</p>
<p>“Enough of this chatter, let us cut to the chase Padawan Dinzori.” Yan pierced Xanatos with a steely gaze, and the padawan stiffened to attention. “Why are you out here in Dagobah? And why is youngling Kenobi with you?”</p>
<p>“I am fleeing, Master Dooku.”</p>
<p>The reply was succinct and practically useless. Yan felt his irritation rise, and only through long years of practiced dedication acknowledged and released his emotions to clear his mind.</p>
<p>“Pray tell, what do you flee from?”</p>
<p>“Whom, Masters, not what,” the young man took a shaky breath. He paused and the Masters felt his fear racket upwards. It was concerning that such an accomplished senior padawan should be weighed down by such fearful shackles.</p>
<p>“Xanatos,” Qui-Gon said gently, resting a warm hand on his charge’s shoulder. “Padawan, speak to me. What are you afraid of? The Force is with us, and it will aid us.”</p>
<p>With another breath, the young human released his fear into the encompassing warmth of the Force.</p>
<p>“There is a Sith Master on Coruscant.”</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>
  <em>Little Obi-Wan, young though he was, understood more than he was given credit for. There was a darkness creeping into the Temple on insidious wings. Dreams of fire and ash showed the boy glimpses of a future engulfed in darkness and life snuffed out.</em>
</p>
<p>That would not do.</p>
<p>
  <em>Not for his créchemates or the masters he met in the halls. Obi-Wan loved the temple, loved his fellow younglings, and even loved the passing Jedi who waved as they walked by. Each shone as a bright star full of light and dazzling colors, each different and precious to the young child. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Something needed to be done. Little Obi-Wan knew that the light chased away darkness, so the solution was obvious to him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He would protect the light of others and freely give of his own light.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Young though he was, Obi-Wan Kenobi made an oath with the strongest of beliefs: the unconditional love of a child.</em>
</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>Silence descended onto the little clearing hidden on Dagobah.</p>
<p>Qui-Gon’s thoughts whirled in his mind, doubt and denial swirling together. <em>The Sith, sworn enemies of the Jedi have returned?</em> It was impossible, they were dead and gone. They were the images of every younglings’ boogeyman, terrifying, yet ultimately fictional. <em>But what if they aren’t gone?</em> A small voice whispered in his mind. It sounded like his old master Dooku, who many claimed to be paranoid and see shadows where there were none. Yet Qui-Gon knew his hardened master’s caution came from long hard-earned experience.</p>
<p>He looked again at his padawan. He noted the pale face and dread lined face. The boy was afraid of more than what drove him from the Temple. In a flash of insight and Qui-Gon understood that Xanatos worried that they would not believe him, turn him away, or discredit him.</p>
<p>“A Sith, you say? Serious accusation, this is. Proof we will need,” Yoda’s gravelly voice broke through Qui-Gon’s thoughts.</p>
<p>“Before that however,” Yan broke in, “If what you claim is true, why could you not tell your Master? Or failing that, another master or member of the council at the Jedi Temple.” Yan Dooku moved to loom over the boy, brown eyes staring straight into Xanatos’ dark blue ones. To the padawan’s credit he did not flinch or break eye-contact.</p>
<p>The Jedi Master continued, voice low but sharp, “Why have you run all the way to the edges of the Galaxy to tell us some spice trader’s tale when you could have reported this theory at home with full creditability, <em>instead</em> of kidnaping a defenseless youngling?”</p>
<p>“The darkness is everywhere; <em>he</em> has fingers in every corner of Corusucant. It was not safe, Master Dooku.”</p>
<p>“Safe,” Yan repeated dubiously, “Of course, why would the Temple, home to ten thousand Jedi not be safe?”</p>
<p>Abruptly, Xanatos took a step back and bowed full length to the three Masters, deeply shocking them with his next words.</p>
<p>“Please forgive me Masters, I have done a grave deed and betrayed my oaths as a Padawan to the Jedi Order. For this, I offer my lightsaber until I have redeemed myself or the Council sees fit to release me for my crimes.”</p>
<p>He fell to his knees with bent head, and offered his lightsaber with both hands, palm face up.</p>
<p>“Padawan!” Qui-Gon cried in disbelief.</p>
<p>Raging emotions swirled through him, shock, fear, shame, disbelief. Yet through it all Qui-Gon focused on the care he held for this young human. He breathed in the pungent air of Dagobah and exhaled his worries and fears of the past and worries for the future. The past happened, he could not change it, only focus on supporting his padawan through this trial. He could do no less.</p>
<p>Grandmaster Yoda approached the young boy kneeling on the ground and reverently received the offered lightsaber, before resting on a nearby stump with his gimer stick supporting his gnarled hands. The only visible tension lay in the taunt, white-knuckled grip on his stick.</p>
<p>“What is done is done, my padawan,” a large hand gently pulled the boy to his feet. “For right now, all I will do is listen to your reasoning and story. After that is for the Force to decide.”</p>
<p>Silently, Yan found a place to sit while appraising the Telosian human in a different light. It took great remorse and depth of character to offer one’s lightsaber up. For it was a Jedi’s life, their defense, offense, and their very soul.</p>
<p>Just as silently, Obi-Wan took Xanatos’ hand and listened to his story.</p>
<p>“I am not wholly certain when it began, but I always felt a hole in my life. A gaping wound that I could not fill no matter how hard I tried. And,” here Xanatos hesitated, “I tried to fill it first with praise, from you Master Qui-Gon, and from my peers, those we’ve aided, anyone.</p>
<p>“It was never enough…”</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>Life as a padawan was lacking something.</p>
<p>At least it seemed that way to Xanatos Dinzori. Diplomatic missions were acceptable, it was intriguing to watch sentient species fall over themselves as his Master manipulated and persuaded them with his silver-tongued words. Physical training was fun and challenging, while Force training filled his mind with infinite possibilities.</p>
<p>Yet Xanatos craved something more to his life, something to fill an empty spot in his soul.</p>
<p>He knew this desire for accolades or excitement went against the Jedi Code, however he could not suppress himself to conform to the perfect little Jedi the council wanted. A saberfight thrilled him, capturing criminals satisfied him, he wanted a name for himself as a Knight, to know that the Galaxy at large knew him.</p>
<p>To prove he was something.</p>
<p>Over the years this dissatisfaction grew in Xanatos. Driving the boy to excel at any mission or training his master threw at him.</p>
<p>Xanatos lived for the days when Qui-Gon praised him. He positively glowed whenever Qui-Gon tugged on his padawan braid with a quiet “Well done, padawan mine,” spoken in that deep tenor of his.</p>
<p>Later at night, sitting in his darkened room, with the light of passing speeders flashing in hard lines across the walls, Xanatos realized a terrifying truth.</p>
<p>Qui-Gon’s praise was not enough anymore.</p>
<p>While he cared and deeply respected his master who was renowned in the Jedi circles despite being under thirty-standard-years, those words did not fill the aching hole in his chest that screamed for something more.</p>
<p>After that realization, the words of powerful politicians seemed to matter more than ever. They were renowned across the galaxy, surely their words held more weight.</p>
<p> It was then, that a snake in the grass, black and oozing an odious venom slithered into the emptiness of Xanatos’ life.</p>
<p>Senator Palpatine of the Naboo system struck with eerie precision.</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>As poison drips from a wound, the insidious words started small.</p>
<p>“The Jedi’s masterful resolution of the slave trade in Stewjon resounded throughout the Holonet. A pity that your Master fails to use your abilities more for those issues.”</p>
<p>“I do not mean to belittle your Master, but surely that situation with the Trandoshians would have been resolved faster, relieved the suffering easier, if you were charge.”</p>
<p>“Remarkable talents, Padawan. I foresee you changing the Galaxy at this rate, unlike your fellows. Compared to your gifts, they seem so lacking.”</p>
<p>“You are suited for something much better, Padawan.”</p>
<p>As a spider lures their prey with a net of invisible thread, Sheev Palpatine seduced the hurting Padawan towards the darkness.</p>
<p>“A favor for me, Padawan…”</p>
<p>“The words of the idealistic never face reality, there is nothing we can do to help him. It is easier to put him out of his misery, he is after all a criminal.”</p>
<p>“Leave them to their fate, it is none of your concern. Focus on the higher, more <em>sophisticated</em>, problems instead of their lack of food. It is their own failings that led them here after all.”</p>
<p>Misgivings raised their head at first, but with one concession the next became easier and easier. With a practiced smile and greedy eyes, the Senator shadowed the Padawan until the darkness reached a tipping point on its slippery slope.</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>Qui-Gon listened with mounting horror and guilt as his padawan outlined the path of his life that took him to this end. <em>He had failed as a master, utterly and inexcusably. He chose a padawan too early, this showed just how much he wasn’t ready. </em> He had never noticed the boy’s struggles and assumed the boy’s desire for more as a simple dream for Knighthood.</p>
<p>Yan felt laid bare before this young Telosian human. The struggles the boy faced paralleled his own doubts and thoughts. The words pouring from Xanatos’ mouth shed light on his own interactions with the darkness. It was painful, humiliating, and shameful. But for the first time in ages, Yan Dooku faced himself in the mirror of this boy and resolved not to run away anymore.</p>
<p>Yoda ached in his ancient heart. For the struggles of this youngling, as well as the shadows reaching for the future. Yet not all was lost. A gentle light shone from the act of sharing of doubts and failings of the soul. Padawan Dinzori had started towards the path of redemption.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan curled his small fingers tighter around Zana’s. He saw it was hard and painful for him to speak of his shame. While Obi-Wan may not totally understand what happened, alright, he understood practically nothing of it, the youngling knew the Force surrounding Zana. It was changing. Golden light lost the last of its oily smears, pulsing with a soft heartbeat. Obi-Wan basked in its glow.</p>
<p> Ø</p>
<p>
  <em>The night was young, yet the storm clouds roiling through the abyss darkened the sky to an oily grey black. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A small humanoid figure paced quickly through the lower reaches of Coruscant. Down and down he raced, until he reached an abandoned industrial waste section. Millions of lives had built layers of civilizations over the top of others as new space was needed. Leaving behind buried skeletons of untold depths. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He swiped an access card in an old decrepit building. The lock blinked green for a moment, and the door slid to the left soundlessly, belying its outer appearance. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Boots echoed through the warehouse, though muffled by dark curtains and piles of unused crates. In the darkness the piles and mounds of abandoned materials loomed like gaping maws, threatening to swallow the viewer whole. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Xanatos appreciated the effect. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Padawan Dinzori, at last you came.” The voice came from a deeply cowled figure. Only the sulfurous yellow eyes gleaming from the dark and the white mouth were visible. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“My apologies, Senator. It took me time to safely escape the Jedi Temple.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I see,” slight disappointment dripped from the oily tone. The senator continued, yellow eyes fixed squarely on the boy, a dark pleasure glinting shallowly. “No matter. You are here now.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Tell me, Pawadan, how long have you known me?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“About half a standard year, Senator.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Would you say you have benefited from our relationship?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Of course, Senator, I am grateful for all the advice and knowledge you have shared with me.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I agree, you have grown in the way of darkness, even beyond my expectations. Powerful you have become.” Pride swelled in Xanatos’ chest. The empty ache filled a little, yet his hearted hardened.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The hooded figure of the Senator turned away from the boy for a moment, walking towards a small statuette. “Unfortunately, there is one more obstacle to your ascension as my Sith apprentice. I require proof of your commitment to this path and to changing the Galaxy.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The senator looked back to the padawan, yellow eyes penetrating the depths of the night in a sickly shine. He spoke again, voice slow and pondering. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I require a youngling.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“A youngling, sir?” the boy asked in mild surprise. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A hand snaked its way around Xanatos’ shoulders, fingers trailing up the boy’s arm. The light dimmed even more in the cavern to dim flickers and formless shadows.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“To those who see it, the future is written in stone, is it not? Time and again, I see a certain youngling grown and an annoyance to my plans for the Republic’s prosperity. Pre-emptive strikes work best, do you not agree?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Pale twisted lips spoke next his right ear, blowing the long Padawan braid, “Your proof, little Jedi, is to bring me the youngling named Kenobi from under the noses of the Order. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“There will be an unscheduled thunderstorm in three hours time, I expect you to use it wisely.” </em>
</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>Three sets of eyes turned to fix Obi-Wan Kenobi with startled and searching stares. In return, a toothy smile flashed, showing off the gaps in his front teeth.</p>
<p>“Hmmm…strong in the light of the Force he is, if him, darkness seeks.”</p>
<p>“I believe so Master Yoda,” Xanatos replied with a fond glance at the child, now sitting on his lap. Obi-Wan giggled as he played with Zana’s hands, they were so much bigger than his!</p>
<p>“Changed, the future has. More clarity, in the Force there is.”</p>
<p>“I hope so, Master Yoda. From the depth of my heart, I hope so.”</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>
  <em>Xanatos scoffed at how easy it was to sneak into the Crèche. Confidence and a projected sense of purpose was all he needed. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Though now he had to be a bit more careful. From his quick research into the Crèche records-again Xanatos belittled the pathetic Temple security over their files- the only Kenobi youngling slept in the Dragon clan under the watchful eye of Master Ali-Alaan.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As it turned out, he did not need to search hard at all. For the youngling in question slipped out of the sleeping chambers just ahead of Xanatos. Soft footfalls echoed in the corridor as the human toddler trundled unerringly towards the Padawan. He could scarcely believe it; the Force was with him tonight. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Hello little one, what are you doing up at this time of night? Are you lost?” Xanatos spoke softly, practiced amiability filling his voice. Afterall, one caught more flies with honey than vinegar.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Nu huh, I’m not lost. I looking fer you.” Innocent and trusting blue-green eyes framed by red-gold curls blinked up at him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Nonplussed, Xanatos crouched down at the youngling’s eyelevel. Maybe then the boy would be quieter if he did not have to speak upwards, “Looking for me? Why?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You lost, and sad, and lonely. I help you.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Derision filled Xanatos at those words. Wasn’t this youngling the height of arrogance? No wonder the Senator wanted him. Darkness swirled raggedly around him, tendrils seeping from his aching chest. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“If you want to help me, then would you like to come on an adventure with me?” He smiled beguiling. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>However, a small hand reached up at touched his cheek and the Force bloomed. Light swirled and eddied in invisible waves, sweeping through Xanatos. Cobwebs of darkness blew away under its light, and for the first time in over a year midnight blue eyes saw clearly again. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Palpatine was a Sith Master of the Dark Force. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Wh-what? What did you do?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I gave you my light. You missing some, so I shared.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ageless, blue-green-grey eyes swirled and shifted in the dark corridor. Their shine drew Xanatos inwards, on a stream of pure starlight. The emotion in those small eyes warmed him from the tips of his toes the ends of his ears. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Who are you?” The question was whispered with the faintest of breaths.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Obi-Wan Kenobi. What’s your name?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Xanatos Dinzori,” the reply was automatic and instinctual amidst a mind still reeling in confusion. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Zanados Dinze too long. I name you Zana!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Awestruck, Xanatos could only blink at the being before him. A warm feeling settled in his chest. He had no name for the soft sensation, but it filled the ache completely. Deep breathes came easily and free, how liberating this feeling was!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Suddenly, little arms stretched upwards, hands grasping, “Hold me, Zana? I tired.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Confronted by the complete trust of a child Xanatos made a decision. A decision that molded his world view, his priorities, and his beliefs. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He swept the youngling up into his arms, cradling him by pure instinct. He turned towards the Crèche, footsteps soft and quiet. Palpatine would never touch Obi-Wan.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>In a sudden burst of horrifying insight, the young Padawan realized the true reason Senator Palpatine desired Obi-Wan. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Palpatine was afraid. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The senator was afraid that one little human boy would ruin his plans. Visions of the future blinded him so much that he lashed out in fear at the unknown and uncertain. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Horror crept up Xanatos’ spine. Even if he thwarted Palpatine tonight, the madman would never stop coming for Obi-Wan. What could he do? Various plans and half-formed thoughts raced through the padawan’s mind. He had to something! Anything!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lightning flashed in a roaring boom of thunder. The air quaked and the storm broke directly above the Jedi Temple, unleashing its angry tempest. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The corridor stood empty; its last occupant gone, fleeing into the rain.</em>
</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>“I am ashamed of my actions in falling to the darkness, though I do not regret them, for without this temptation I would never have known the full gift of the life-giving Force.” Xanatos glanced downwards, to the child clutching his hand, and his face softened with fondness, “Nor would I have met Obi-Wan.”</p>
<p>He turned again to the three Masters, who sat silently, determined midnight eyes fierce and challenging. “Obi-Wan Kenobi is what I was searching for. His unconditional love and trust for me, a human he had never met before filled the emptiness long held within me. I could not deliver him to a fate worse than death.</p>
<p>“Please Masters, I do know what to do any more. I need your guidance and aid.”</p>
<p>After delivering his speech, Xanatos bowed his head, awaiting the verdict with resolute will.</p>
<p>Ø</p>
<p>To Be Continued…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Where stuff goes down after too much talking.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you all enjoyed my first chapter, that was a whopping 20 pages long! It took a long time writing, but it was worth it.<br/>Now, please enjoy my next chapter, it's not as long but fleshes out the ending nicely.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ø</p><p>Yoda was silent.</p><p>Everything was quiet, a little hush of contemplative silence. Birdsong drifted and ebbed in time with the gurgle of swamp creatures. Snakes slithered by the silent group with soft sweeps of their skin against jungle vine. The Jedi sat in silence, each absorbed in their own personal thoughts.</p><p>Acceptance embraced Xanatos Dinzori as he waited patiently for the masters to decide his fate. He had made his choices, now he lived with the responsibility. Next to him, little Obi-Wan Kenobi smiled and focused on patting the mud beneath his feet into a shape. The padawan thought it vaguely resembled a misshapen circle or even a crude heart, who knows what the youngling aimed to create.</p><p><em>This swamp is odiously smelly. I believe there’s mud on my robes. It’ll be a devil of a time to clean it. Why must my lineage get into such messy trouble? </em>Yan Dooku only complained shortly in his mind. He used the slight discomfort as a distraction from his own thoughts. Thoughts that meandered and dove into the depths of his mind. He saw darkness there. It sickened him to realize how familiar and comfortable a nest the darkness roosted in his heart.</p><p>Qui-Gon stirred slightly in the silence, pride flickering in his chest. How swiftly his padawan had grown, it brought joy to his heart to see the newfound maturity that Xanatos now possessed. <em>If only I could have truly been there to aid my dear padawan, </em>Qui-Gon mused, stroking his beard in self-recrimination.<em> Truly I fail as a Master.</em></p><p>Ø</p><p>Then the silence was broken.</p><p>“Into the cave you must go.”</p><p>Startled, Xanatos jerked towards Master Yoda, “What cave, Master?”</p><p>The old goblin shook his ears, “Here on Dagobah, ancient training ground this was. Strong in the Light it is. But a shadow, also it has. Come,” he hopped down from his stump, moving in a direction through the swirling mist, “walk with me, youngling.”</p><p>Hesitantly, with a quick glance at Qui-Gon, the young human followed the crouched figure. Swiftly both Yan and Qui-Gon stood to follow yet stopped in their tracks when Yoda’s gravelly voice reached them.</p><p>“Need you we do not, himself alone will he face.”</p><p>Their hesitation cost the two Masters. Xanatos and Yoda were gone, faded into the unending life signature of the swamp.</p><p>Into the suddenly strained silence, Qui-Gon offered an awkward sacrifice, “Well, Master Yoda never seems to change.”</p><p>An up-ticked eyebrow edged with silver was thrown his way, and he hastened to add to the one-sided conversation, “It seems highly appropriate for an eight-hundred-year-old being. He has had ample opportunity to develop and internalize his idiosyncrasies.”</p><p>“Wha’s idi-idio-idiozinta-whatamacalit, Masters?”</p><p>The young voiced piped up sweetly from around knee level. The youngling, Kenobi, sat in the mud gazing up at them with wide green-blue eyes, while a small frown adorned his mud-stained face.</p><p>Pleased with the distraction, Qui-Gon quickly knelt at eyelevel.</p><p>“I-di-o-syn-cra-sies, little one. It means the unique qualities of a sentient being that are habitual actions.”</p><p>“Like Master Yoda’s backwards talk or Bant’s bubble laugh?”</p><p>“Yes, exactly right.”</p><p>“You have those idio-things too, Zana’s Master?” For a moment, the title threw the leonine jedi for a loop. His eyes, a light shade of blue-grey, widened with surprise, which soon melted into delight at the endearment. Yan Dooku took that momentary stupor and verbally struck.</p><p>“Zana’s Master certainly has many of those, idio-things, as you say. For one, he collects pathetic lifeforms in need of assistance every other mission. For another, he will only take his Sapir tea straight with no added sweetener. And lastly, he never seeks to update his Master when on a mission, at the temple, <em>or taking a new</em> <em>Padawan</em>.”</p><p>The last bit was uttered through a shark sharp smile: all teeth and no mercy. Uncowed, Qui-Gon struck back with a thunderous vengeance. He had been taught by the best after all.</p><p>“Listen here youngling, Zana’s Master’s Master is what one calls a hypocrite. It means they say or do one action and then scold someone else for doing the exact same thing. His idiosyncrasies are all out on full display. Fastidiousness, tight-lipped, and cannot admit weakness unless it kills him!”</p><p>All pretense of amiability vanishes swiftly. Iciness chills the two masters as they loom at each other across the youngling. Yan Dooku’s mien is rigid as stone, and his voice emulates the same brittle quality as chipped granite.</p><p>“You know nothing of what you speak, Qui-Gon.”</p><p>“I don’t do I?” he scoffs derisively. Vaguely Qui-Gon wonders which starship his diplomatic filter flew off on. He could not hold the words on his tongue, and vitriol slips from his lips in waves.</p><p>“You never take the time to comm either Master! Always aloof, always stern, always the consummate shadow Jedi with the façade of stone. You have changed Master, from the time you took me as your student twenty years ago, and the sentient being you are right now is no influence I desire around my Padawan.”</p><p>Yan flinched as if bodily struck, pale face strained without color. “You know my reputation among the Jedi, Qui-Gon. I may be a respected and revered Master. But there is little love for me in the Order. Few Jedi chase the shadows as I do, many fear darkness to be contagious.”</p><p>“Yes, as I am sure your proficiency in Form II, perfect for <em>lightsaber duels</em> or your propensity for <em>violent</em> repercussions add anything else but derision to your record.”</p><p>“I do that for you. For all my Padawans. There is a darkness growing in the Galaxy Qui-Gon, and I’d Force-be-damned before I let that darkness corrupt you!”</p><p>“In case it slipped your mind Master, your plan has not worked that well has it?” Bitterness and self-reproach darkened his eyes to cold slate, “My own Padawan may have encountered a Sith Master and certainly touched the darkness. Your protection does nothing!”</p><p>“M-master?” A thin voice trembles faintly in the air as small hand tugs gently on a dark cloak. Yan whirls in uncontrolled emotion, mouth bared in a wordless snarl. The Force is oily and dark, wrapping tighter around the master in grey coils.</p><p>Obi-Wan flinched, eyes scrunched closed for a brief moment. Immediately all the tension seeps out of Yan, regret and remorse heavy on his heart. <em>Force, he had frightened a youngling, </em>he thought bitterly, <em>again.</em> He fails to notice the tiny motion of his tunics and cloak settling down towards the mud.</p><p>“I have a gift for you Zana’s Master’s Master.”</p><p>Brown eyes blinked in surprise, “A gift youngling?”</p><p>“Uh huh, hand please.” Bemused Yan did as the youngling asked. The four-year-old lays both cupped hands onto the larger one, barely hiding the palm of Dooku’s hand. Slowly Obi-Wan opens his tightly held hands.</p><p>They are empty.</p><p>“Whe-” the query begins to take shape.</p><p>Light blooms. Unfurling in invisible streams and eddies the Force washes over them like a tidal wave of flowers, splashing against their souls in endless light. So strong was the feeling that both Yan and Qui-Gon were left blinking their eyes to rid them of the abrupt influx in their sense, they could have sworn to actually see the Force in golden glory blossom in waves.</p><p>Ø</p><p><em>Kriff! How is Master Yoda so fast? He’s half my height!</em> Xanatos lamented as he struggled to follow the stumpy Jedi Master through the mist laden swamp.</p><p>Vines caught his feet, stung his hands, and the grey mist obscured his vision. Mud grabbed at his feet, sucked on his bedraggled robes, and splashed into his mouth. He gagged at the filthy dirt stench.</p><p>“Keep up, you must. Almost there, we are.”</p><p>Finally, the two figures paused before a particular section of the swamp. There, Xanatos glimpsed a dark shadow hidden between the bowels of two trees. It gaped with forgotten history, cold in the manner of fossils and ancient beings who long ago walked the land and care nothing for the present.</p><p>“In the cave, you must go.”</p><p>Midnight blue eyes stared into the cave opening, wide-eyed. He swallowed the question on the tip of his tongue, he would find out soon enough. Determined, the young man straightened his spine and walked into the darkness before him.</p><p>Absently, he heard a pleased approving hum behind him.</p><p>It was not complete darkness, he noted. The dim light drifted through holes in the tree roots overhead for the first few feet, lightening the cave to a dark grey, shapes vaguely darker shadows.</p><p>The light brightened as he continued forward, step by step, til suddenly he was standing in the warm sunlight lit Temple corridor.</p><p>A conversation drifted towards him, he turned in a half circle. Two Masters, judging by the feel of their carefully coiled Force signature, leaned against the training salle door conversing quietly.</p><p>“Who was that Knight again? The second Padawan of Master Jinn?”</p><p>“You know, I don’t remember. There are too many Jedi moving in and out of the temple, how are we supposed to remember every single one?”</p><p>“Hmm, there’s truth to that. I feel old thinking of all the Knights and Masters I’ve outlived.”</p><p>Grief, long understood and only faintly potent, filled the Force for a brief second.</p><p>“Why did you ask about Jinn’s former Padawan anyway?”</p><p>“Ah, well, I just remembered that he was a right terror with his lightsaber for a while, but not much else. Now even that is being taken away, that youngling inside had superb swordsmanship.”</p><p>“He is one with the Force, the Force will remember him always.”</p><p>
  <em>What? They thought he was dead?!</em>
</p><p>Confused warred with anger-filled fear and the padawan ran towards the Masters. A hand outstretched to grab their arms, to show them he was still there, that he wasn’t forgotten. He hit the hard wall, passing through the vision like wisps of scattered smoke.</p><p>Suddenly, he was in the darkness riddled cave again, crumpled against one rough dirt wall.</p><p><em>Shik.</em> The snap-hiss of a lightsaber startled Xanatos. He whirled, a wash of red light flooding the cave in harsh relief.</p><p>The figure stood with a hood over their head, obscuring all but the tips of long shadows of curling hair.</p><p>“Who are you?” He cried out, his voice harsh. The figure stood silently.</p><p>Again, he called out, “Who are you? Why are you here?” Again, the figure stood silently, bathed in a wash of crimson light. Then the figure took a single step.</p><p>Whispers exploded in a cacophony of sound, surrounding Xanatos like a whirlwind, cutting him to the marrow.</p><p>
  <em>“Who is he, the better question is; who are you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’ve already been forgotten by your people.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I do not remember you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“He must not be important: no history book has his name.”</em>
</p><p>With each new voice, familiar or not, the figure took a step forward. Then, he was right before Xanatos. Close enough that he saw a shadowy mouth move and speak.</p><p>
  <em>“Does your family remember the child they gave away?”</em>
</p><p>“Ahhhhh!” Enraged by the taunts and whispers, he ignited his lightsaber and swung.</p><p><em>Twang!</em> The lightsabers clashed, once, twice, three times.</p><p><em>“Are you so easily angered, youngling, by the truth of this world? That you will never be important?”</em> The lilting question was spoken in recognizable tones, yet the Padawan could not hear them, fear clouding his thoughts.</p><p>“Be quiet! I will not be forgotten.”</p><p>Immediately, the cloaked figure stepped back, arms open wide. Xanatos stumbled forward, unbalanced. His lightsaber sunk into its stomach with enough force that its hood flew off, revealing a pale aristocratic face, long black hair, dark eyes lined with sulfuric yellow, and a broken circled scar burned into his cheek.</p><p>Sickened, Xanatos stared at the image of himself, who walks forward jerkily, the searing lightsaber buried in his gut moving deeper through him, the tip barely visible at his back. Aghast Xanatos quickly thumbs the ignition switch off and the dim blue light vanishes. The mirage gains flesh and bone as it slumps against the young man’s arms. Softly, whispered words land his ears.</p><p>“I am you.”</p><p>The words struck with the force of ten thousand blasters.</p><p>“A you, that you might have been. A possibility. Remember me for no one else will.”</p><p>Horror clawed at his throat, threatening to cloud his mind. He-he-he had <em>turned.</em></p><p>Slowly, the panic and horror fled his mind. Whatever this test was, Xanatos knew that he had failed.  </p><p>Ø</p><p>“Wh-what was <em>that</em>?” Qui-Gon asked, voice brimming with confused awe.</p><p>He glanced at his old master only to discover that Yan’s eyes where fixed unerringly on the palm of his hand, narrowed focus on the baby palms that grasped tightly to his own. Slowly, in gentle streams crystalline tears rolled down his cheeks.</p><p>“Master! You’re crying!”</p><p>“Always a master of stating the obvious Qui-Gon.” In contrast to the words themselves, his tone was gentle and fond.</p><p>Suddenly the tall Jedi dropped to his knees and embraced the youngling before him. Heedless of the grime beneath his feet or the mud on the front of his robes, Yan held the child tight to his chest.</p><p>“Thank you for the gift, Obi-Wan,” he whispered, “It is the most precious gift I have ever received. Your faith honors me.”</p><p>Ø</p><p>He stumbled in his haste, tripping over tree roots. Mud cascaded over his face as he splashed into the swamp debris.</p><p>“Hmm…Troubled you are, young one.”</p><p>He kept his face towards the ground, kneeling in a hunched curl as he replied, “Yes, Master Yoda.”</p><p>“Why, troubled you are?”</p><p>“I-I failed, Master,” He choked out the words, spitting them from deep in his throat.</p><p>“Failed hmmm…authority to decide, you have?”</p><p>Startled, dark midnight blue eyes flew open, head snapping upwards to stare at the wizened Jedi.</p><p>“What?” The word burst from his lips.</p><p>Yoda hummed slightly. A lightsaber cradled in his green claws reverently. With a start Xanatos recognized it as his own.</p><p>“Question, I have. In cave, face you, who did?”</p><p>Xanatos sucked in a shocked breath, inhaling dried mud in the air. A slow realization began to brew in his mind.</p><p>“Myself. I faced a version of myself.”</p><p>“Correct you are. Same version, as now you are?”</p><p>“No, Master Yoda. He was me who had fallen, who had become my worst fear.”</p><p>“Ah,” the old master seemed pleased, his long ears wiggling slightly.</p><p>“Know, your fear do you? Seen your worst you have. “Know yourself, do you?”</p><p>“Maybe,” Xanatos admitted, reluctance dragging at his voice. “I fear there will always be more to learn.”  </p><p>Yoda hummed in thought, with a smile, “Good, good. Wise you are,” before silence once again settled upon the small clearing. Slowly with exaggerated stiffeness, the wizend Jedi Master heaved himself upwards.</p><p>“Come, back to the other we must come. Too long, left them unsurpervised, we have. Carry me, you will.”</p><p>A cackle greeting his groan of long suffering. Though, Xanatos readily obliged the old master his back.</p><p>Ø</p><p>The tableau that awaited them upon their return to the clearing was unexpected to say the least. For there where two beings crouched down to less than half their height, hands elbow deep in the green mud, looking all the world like indulgent parents. They even sounded similar too.</p><p>“For Force’s sake Qui-Gon, your temple wall is asymmetrical and unbalanced! It will fall over at the slightest provocation.”</p><p>Qui-Gon snorted, “Really Master, your mastery of architecture astounds me, especially considering the shapeless heap you call a tower.”</p><p>“Zana’s master, Zana’s master! Look at this!” Quickly, Qui-Gon shifted his attention to the little member of builders. While ordinarily quite graceful, the quick move in the slippery mud sent the long-haired Jedi face over heels in an appalling display of overexcitement.</p><p>Giggles burst from Obi-Wan, “You silly Zana’s Master! You suppos’ to bath in water not mud.”</p><p>“Whahahahahaha!” A great booming lit up the clearing, shocking the occupants with its source.</p><p>Xanatos stared. Everyone in the Temple knew Master Yan Dooku’s reputation. Taciturn, stern, aloof, exacting to name a few. The image of the Jedi squatting in the mud, doubled over with laughter, mirth painting his face in unfamiliar lines.</p><p>Even Master Yoda seemed stunned. Eyes wide, but mouth curled into a fond smile. Swinging down from the Padawan’s back with ease, Yoda announced his presence by stumping over to the trio.</p><p>“Hmmm…more younglings now it appears. One I left, but three I find.”</p><p>Qui-Gon and Yan jumped to their feet, whirling to face Yoda. Relief filled their faces momentarily, and both bowed in greeting to the Grandmaster. A green claw waved away their respect, before gesturing back towards the abandoned seats.</p><p>“Now sit, we must. Listen we will.”</p><p>Obediently, each moved to their previous stumps. The masters attempted to retain their dignity by settling as gracefully as one could while liberally coated in mud. Only the youngling maintained his cheer by enthusiastically welcoming Zana back with a warm hug. To his credit, the padawan only scrunched his nose in slight distaste.</p><p>Once all were seated heavy tension returned to the clearing. Everyone knew the serious matter that weighed upon their shoulders at this time.</p><p>Yoda faced the moment with somber anticipation.</p><p>Yan faced the moment with a lingering feeling of dread but a small bubble of hope also.</p><p>Qui-Gon faced the moment with grim belief.</p><p>Xanatos faced the moment with hard-won peace.</p><p>And Obi-Wan? He faced the moment with firm belief.</p><p>Ø</p><p>“One question I have. To be a Jedi, what say you?”</p><p>Startled Xanatos took a moment to gather his thoughts. He glanced down at the small figure tucked against his knees.</p><p>“Forgive me Masters, for not answering right away, my perception of a Jedi has greatly changed in the last few hours. I believed that a Jedi did great good in the Galaxy and those we served must be grateful to us. That glory and honor followed a Jedi like a cloak. That the Force we answer to made us superior to those without its guidance.”</p><p>The young Padawan lifted his dark midnight eyes to Yoda’s wise ones, while one hand strayed to smooth down mud-matted golden red curls. “I was wrong. No honor or glory could ever make a Jedi. The darkness never completely leaves us. It is always there, just out of sight, waiting to pounce on the unwary.</p><p>“To be a Jedi is to have hope. Hope and faith that the light will always be there at the end of the day, that our work in service to the galaxy makes a difference to someone. That we choose the light, not because it will always win or is right, but because it is joy, peace, and <em>life</em>.</p><p>“That is to be a Jedi. To live as a light to others.”</p><p>The lingering silence left in the wake of such sentiment was soft and gentle. A thoughtful silence, a pondering silence.</p><p>“Taught well, Padawan, has been. To be a Jedi is to face the truth and choose. Give off light or darkness. Padawan made a choice, hmmm. Chosen the light over the darkness, have you not?”</p><p>Soft spoken though they were, the words resounded in the murky clearing of Dagobah. Like silk on sand those words chimed into a reverberating crescendo in the hearts of those who heard it.</p><p>Relief filled Xanatos’ face at his implied acceptance back to the Jedi Order, and tears glinted dangerously full at the edges of his midnight blue eyes.</p><p>“Yes, Master Yoda. I have the chosen the light. I will choose it every day, it is a commitment I made, and I am prepared to follow it faithfully.” His answer was firm and solid, spoken from a place of iron resolve.</p><p>A gnarled hand reached forward and placed the lightsaber directly into the young human’s hands. Yoda gently folded Xanatos’ fingers around the hilt with a soft pat.</p><p>“Hmmm, Jedi Padawan you may be again. More steps to be taken, for Knight you become.” The short creature swept a glance at his companions, “Religious order we are. Steps, we all must take. Every step, choice it is, to the light we face.”</p><p>Qui-Gon stirred slightly, kneeling before his Padawan in the muck of the swampy clearing. Green ooze squelched beneath his robes and he failed to even notice the mud, his focus entirely on the young man before him. Gently Qui-Gon placed warm hands on not quite-full grown shoulders.</p><p>“Well done, Padawan mine. You have grown into a wonderful Jedi before I even noticed. I am so proud of you.”</p><p>“Thank you Masters, thank you.”</p><p>And the Force rang with the forgiveness and bell like quality of healing.</p><p>Ø</p><p>A slight giggle in the Force interrupted the pair, and all eyes turned to the source of the ripple. Obi-Wan, blue-green eyes alight with wonder giggled again, and the sound echoed through the Force like a chime of a silver bell.</p><p>“So pwetty!”</p><p>“What is pretty, young one?”</p><p>It was Yan Dooku who verbalized the question gently. During the course of this journey, Yan had realized just how wonderful and precious this youngling, and all younglings, were in their simple love.</p><p>“The Force!” Obi-Wan exclaimed in pure excitement and awe, “Stardust, stardust around them!”</p><p>“Stardust? What do you mean by stardust?”</p><p>“Gold light, a star’s heart” little fingers danced in patterns and frustration as the toddler tried to articulate his thoughts, “twinkles like speeder lights, and dances. Force happy dance!”</p><p>Stunned the four older Jedi stared in disbelief at the youngster now dancing shameless across the mud, laughing and shouting in glee. Even Master Yoda’s perpetual droopy eyelids were pulled back fully to expose the whites of his eyes.</p><p>“He can see the Force in lights?”</p><p>“Master Yoda, have you ever heard of something like this?”</p><p>Master Yoda replied while his eyes never strayed from the youngling before him. “Over eight-hundred years, I am, see many things I have. But this? I have not. Heard of it, I have.”</p><p>“What is it Master?”</p><p>“Old ability, it is. Last recorded during the Sith Wars. Star’s Heart, called they were. Pieces of the Force, strong in them.”</p><p>Awe warred with skepticism in Qui-Gon’s eyes, “Is this why the Sith foresaw Kenobi in his visions?” It seemed a reasonable assumption to him. Yan was clearly of the same mind, but Yoda quickly refuted his comment.</p><p>“Underestimate, the Sith did, power of a child’s love.”</p><p>Xanatos could only draw Obi-Wan tightly into his arms and thank the Force in heart for this love.</p><p>Ø</p><p>A moment or an eternity later gentle hands lifted the youngling from Dinzori’s lap and sat him in the soft folds of well-kept tabards. Curious Obi-Wan raised his chin, turquoise eyes searching the man above him. Yan took a deep breath and turned towards his former Master. Humbled by the courage of a padawan to bear his soul, Yan Dooku as a Jedi himself could do no less.</p><p>“Master Yoda, I also have betrayed my Oaths to the temple.”</p><p>Brown eyes closed swiftly to shut out the looks of surprise or disappointment. It mattered little since he felt Qui-Gon’s shock in the Force regardless, as a trickle through his closed bond. While padawans strive to be perfect for their masters, even the masters strive to never fail or show weakness before their students.</p><p>“I too fell into temptation to the power of the dark side. Over recent years I have observed in myself the tendency to violently destroy those that oppose me, with words or action. As a shadow I see the scum of the galaxy and it disgusted me that the Senate only allows the Jedi to do so much. More and more I felt that the Jedi Order had fallen from being a religious order into a lap dog of the Republic….”</p><p>The voices rose and fell in a lilting cadence, weaving a song of darkness and regret. The way was difficult and seemed to be an endless narrow tunnel, filled with dim shadows. Yet a light remained.</p><p>Obi-Wan settled back into the warm lap, eyes fluttering closed. His task was done, heshared his light. Now a nap seemed good.  </p><p>
  <strong>FIN</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So Dinzori means out of or from the dawn. I thought it fitting for the redemption I planned for Xanatos.<br/>Also, the way Yoda talks is fascinating, he always puts the object first, then the subject, and finally the verb. It’s like OSV instead of SVO in English, it reminds me of Japanese which is SOV. Can you tell I’m a language nerd yet? ;)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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